Akathartic and Ophionic States of Being -
Alexithymia and Anosognosia

First of all, people were not born severed from their inner instinct, severed from their feelings or somatic markers or with twisted ego, nor did they evolve this way. A condition brought this all on; the switch to agrarian life and diet and the culture that came into being and "broke" their own offspring. There is much evidence to show the health effects of this. The point is, that since agriculture, humans have had to become adepts at numbing themselves to physical pain from illnesses and from back-breaking work. See the Tree of Destruction article for a dark doctrine view how this arose.

Why can't dualist-people, most visible in but not exclusive to the western world, live in peace with others, especially other races? Because they can not live in peace with themselves. Not their own people, and not with themselves. I'll say it in our lingo using English only.

This essay will treat "self" and "ego" as two different things. If you stick to your everyday usage of the two words "self" and "ego," you will misunderstand this text, so don't read the words as if they are the same words. Ego is more like something in the head, a part of the mind or brain. Self, however, is the entire self, the inner soul, the entire body, memories, experiences and mind together: the whole "you."

Dualist people are split in half. They think dualist because they feel dual. They don't "think/feel." The feelings are buried, often obscuring emotions are buried and they "try to be" an ego-construct. There is no organic-I in them at all, no true Selfhood. Just an image of one. They have a false-construct-I or "ego," as we call it (not psychological talk at all, not Freud either, specifically). No one is born with this kind of "ego." This kind of split from conscious to unconscious is developed in childhood.

These people crave The Lie and, in addition, they don't want reality to crash down the barricade or fortress of these self Lies. They often spend years creating their fortresses, brick-lie by brick-lie - only to have something crash it down.

It has to do with a shutting off of instinct and ignoring of sensual input: the result is that humans can not really arrive at logic: see Damasio. This ego is a fake. It is a falst construct, a "self image" but not the real self, the real you, the "organic I." It often seeks to "find itself." It imagines it has become the "new me" and tries to construct a new act, for it is all ultimately an act that they never know they are faking until the "new me" realizes it and replaces it with another act. The act is two things:

1. The insane desire to hold in thrall and control everything that seems to them "chaotic, random, uncontrollable" in their own bodies (the "unruly, sinful flesh"), and outside their bodies (other people, events, things). This ego is a tyrant that will not let-go the reigns and let the body breathe.

2. The false-ego, the persona, is a perpetual attempt to escape the "self," but the self it is fleeing from is wholly unknown. That self could be equated with instinct or Freud's id, or "the animal, genetic, DNA-coded foundation." Wilhelm Reich seems to have figured this out on his own: see his books. They feel pursued, as if something is pursuing them. Since they see no person pursuing, they think it's a devil, or demonic forces or something evil and dark (hidden, not visible to the clear, inner-light of logic). It is this that causes the "emotional need" for religion: which is a belief in fantasy! They run/escape toward hope, constant hope, a need to be saved which they all feel acutely. Saved from what? Fire? Flood? Illness? No. Just "saved." From what? "The animal self that has been stifled all their lives and now wants to break free and kill the repressor-ego that stifled it." (It doesn't matter if such people are being oppressed by others or by society or not, and usually they are not being oppressed by society tho they tend to seek to oppress: they have become their own oppressors in the inner sense; they are repressed.) This is felt as a binding at the navel "chakra," a nerve center probably in the brain; but you feel it near the navel, not in your head! The control has to have gone on for long, and severely, for this binding or deadening from the waist down to be felt. Their heart chakras are as if not there, they are clenched tightly shut, incased as if in ice. Their senses are 99% numbed: it has to be strong for them to even begin to feel it. They are braced, expressionless, unemotional, apollonian, they do not feel; they dare not feel! The "dionysian" for them is dangerous because the instinctual and sensual self has been stifled, wants to break free, and is now like a monster wanting to kill what repressed it: the false ego construct! Problem: the oppressor and that which seeks to break free is the same person. Pythagorean term: akathartic (unable to release, not-released).

Finally, the animal-self refuses to be held back any longer (at the navel!) and it pushes thru. It is wild, truly chaotic with no compass to guide it. Just as a person never in deep water before would struggle not to drown, they struggle in panic to "not drown," and it is a drowning feeling. If it does push through, despite all efforts to control/brace against it, it enters into the heart "chakra." This is really something of the brain, but it is felt in the heart: panic, devouring feeling, burning, as if "some thing" is consuming you, or it feels like One Big Whopie, accelerated, too enthusiastic, as if you are in the back seat of a car, your body is the car, and the car is whirling downhill with no one to drive it. Then the person literally does self-destructive things, throws himself away. The person usually then braces against it and there he enters into what is to become a tug of war between the rushing "let-go" feeling and repression when he realizes how badly he threw himself away. When it keeps going on enough t imes, this rushing feeling is sometimes accompanied by an almost-hallucination in the mind of something that looks a lot like a tentacled thing with one eye, or spidery webs, or spidery images, some kind of devouring image. (Jung would call it an archetype.) Kali is an Eastern image of this, a negative anima, a destructive letting go. They do not believe this is just a manifestation of their will if they see this. They believe (because they see and feel) that some "thing" is after them for real, some entity or demon or devil. Nothing can unconvince them because they see it We know it is only their own will, a kind of image that such humans seem to universally see if they get this way (these images are in the culture stream and mythology of western agrarian societies). Telling them this is a waste of time. Knowing it is an hallucination or imaginary image does not make the feeling of burning, being devoured, being pursued for real, or panic go away. If they have to give this "thing" a gender, they usually think it is female! It is squirmy-like, usually one-eyed, ropy, web-like, it hurls at them from a kind of space that "can't exist," it comes bullet-fast (like an arrow), its ropes or "tendrils" flail menacingly, as if to and fro, in and out, in an impossible space-perception. Often real living things (a lizard eating something, a spider, a spider's web, worms, squiggly or slimy things) will trigger the image of this "thing," or trigger irrational panic/fear. It is also somehow dragon-like. It eats, somehow you "know" that it eats. This feeling, with the vision or not, is accompanied by a feeling of space being altered around you, as if you are being whirled down a tunnel that is like a vortex, or as if the ground fell out from under you and you "tripped" along the way somehow, and are now careening out of control, like a car with no driver. The space around you vibrates, or you feel a vibration. It is not "the shivers" or "the shakes." It feels as if it is coming from outside your body, as if the space you are in is shaking. It is not: the heart-chakra area inside the body is what is "shaking." This transfers in the realm of reality as a kind of irrational fear of insects (harmless ones, such as spiders) or revulsion at invertebrate life and so on, things classically western, so much so that they even avoid foods of this kind that other humans do eat, good food. In this stage, they react in one of two ways:

1. They flee, pack up and move, trash all their belongings and run. Might end up in a church or similar place terrified, shaking, in tears. Begging for help. Feeling a need to be saved! Or a need to "believe in" something.

2. They like the feeling and embrace it! If they do this then you witness their behavior: serial killers, extreme sado-masochism, self-mutilation outside and visible, or with foods that are literally making them sick (I do not mean alcohol or drugs, I mean foods that give them pain to eat: like lime (dolomite) or foods that cause them cramps, or other such pains, or irrational delusions about what good food will do to them, such as anorexics and bulemiacs have. The pythagorean name for this type that has embraced this is "ophionic," from the idea (not literal creature) Ophioneus or Ophion. The lesser "image" of the spider-like web was known as "Nightmare," the first and true meaning of that word; Medusa is another image of a female thing that can freeze you. The Taoist image for this is "the drowner" and means "insanity, a darkening of the inner Light." Note that the western knee-jerk reaction connects darkness with evil. We connect it to the heart, feelings, softness and anima. Also to female, or the dionysian in human nature.

Now, why is the animal-core-self so self-destructive when it gets released in such a split person when it is embraced?

1. It is seeking to murder the tyrant: the ego controller, seeking to exterminate it, send it into oblivion (hence their conscious fear that they are going into oblivion). That their "letting go" leads to self-destructive acts is proof that "this must be a bad thing, they should suppress it."

2. It has absolutely no compass to guide it, no link to "communicate data" on "how to let go the right way," like an animal has.

3. It is not integrated with the rest of the self, as it should be.

Both akathartic and ophionic types are considered "klippoth, preta-rupa." Pythagorean term: Thanatos. It is opposed to "zoos" which means biological. On a "higher level" it is opposed to eros (not erotic) meaning "love, of the heart, heart-felt." Pythagorean terms. Thanatos is akin to a-biological. It doesn't mean "dead." It means dead-alive, having the instinct of "sex/death." They are like rage/hate/malice filled, sex-energy driven egos on 2 feet.

That split people are a specific, easily recognizable type (not race) is too well known to even debate. Whether they are born that way or develop that way is not known, but it is absolutely known that any human can be made into this kind of thing through conditioning: Xian upbringing usually does this to a person to some degree. Doctrines (teachings), however, say they are born from a union wherein there is no release in the female who has a womb that is supposed to nourish, not poison, the newly made zygote. That's doctrine. This was well known to people who knew mathematics (only taught in colleges today) and who talked about atoms; known to people who built things no one can build or even copy today. They are not the doctrines of stupid people who believed in tooth-fairies. They based the idea of it being "inborn" on observation. Tanaim (Hebrew special teachers who preserve knowledge) classed them into five definite types of people fitting the description of the same type among 5 different races of people they knew of (race is used not as we use the word today). Dante knew of this. Some is encoded, the rest he wrote only too clearly to those who recognize what he is saying.

As far as we know, there is no cure for these people except to experience release that sometimes works to cure it temporarily. In the east rare people like this have been known to receive head injuries that should have made them brainless but behold: they were cured! Told to western people, who were, themselves, new in the field of medicine, it was not believed that any brain or head injury could make a person more whole than he was prior to the injury. (Don't believe it. No one tried to push the point.) Also known: normal people that got thyroid disease or other biochemical imbalances sometimes became split, but always showed some marked behavioral changes and accompanying changes in the way they thought and behaved.

We know that "chakras" are in the body, but actually in the brain because there is no physical organ in the body at the location of the feeling of "chakras." Such talk was incomprehensible once. Maybe neurology can understand it now: 1995? The eastern doctrinal outlook was always focussed on bio-electrical impulses. The west only just recently got into this. Western science, if they had any real explanations for mental disorders, focussed on bio-chemistry. But: biochemistry and bioelectricity work hand in hand in living organisms.

Our labels/words for such states-of-being are as specific as chemistry, science, and math. They are just not English. They are not common "language" words because the western languages don't have words for such concepts. Example: English borrows foreign words, even for anything medical; the word pharmacology is borrowed as are the words bioelectrical and biochemical.

These split people are not metaphorically or literally unable to get along with themselves, hence with anyone else: they are literally at war inside themselves which causes the rest. They may as well have a cancerous tumor that insists on growing and fighting a battle for space with the body's normal cells. It is as physically real as this. It is not "spiritual." It is as physical as cancer wherein the body tells undifferentiated cells to reproduce and push out the normal, healthy, differentiated cells. The same, as physical. As real. You can cut out the cancer. Often it comes back. You can "release," but the split often comes back. When we say things like "spiritual condition" we mean: "state of being." Not state of feeling or state of thinking: state of being. There is a difference. The west is noted for seeming to not-grasp the concept of just one thing: being. Being-state of normalcy is when these "chakras" all fire (like spark plugs in a car) in the correct order. Theirs do not fire correctly. The bottom 3 are severed from the top. This is visible, to us. Don't need a microscope or a brain scan. Our knowledge on this is older than western ideas which are all quite new.

When such people orgasm (the most powerful survival urge in living things) they do not release, it is as if "energy" gets pent up more. They often can't even perform without strong "visual" imagery, a kind of yoga they are doing like visual-image "one-pointed consciousness" wherein they focus on a fantasy. The chakra by the eyes is used in a kind of perverse destructive yoga. If they lose the fantasy/focus, they lose their arousal. Pythagorean word for this: epithymesai. There are physical differences that can be graphically described and defined about what happens during and after orgasm in the type that does this perverse yoga, versus a person who is like an animal that does not do this: visible differences, visible to anyone who looks! Most often, the split person can not orgasm any other way. As such, we know what predominates in the west since the western world thinks this is all "normal." In recent years they have encountered others who are not like this (sexually speaking) and they don't know what to make of it. Some even think we have some "other organ!" Wilhelm Reich discovered all of this on his own. We're animals! They're damaged animals. The same goes for eating. The stomach can growl and inform the brain that it needs food, then the brain thinks "hunger, get food." Then there is epithymesai hunger, mental hunger, where a person gets tantalized by images of food when they are not hungry - and then they go off and stuff their faces. People who do that, eat and eat and eat, tend to stuff their faces to fill up an empty hole they feel in their hearts. The word "tantalize" is in many meanings, the same as the word epithymesai. It's using the eyes (eye chakra) to stare at an object - and then shoving a pseudo-desire into the body for that object, be that food or sex or whatever. The point is that the body itself is not hungry or horny at all. Basic biological urges continue to assert themselves even if you give a person a lobotomy. They are natural urges that all animals share. Basic biological urges. This epithymesai is an improper use of chakras, it makes the Flame shoot down into a person, instead of up and out in normal flow.

Why do we specifically define their age as Kali Yuga? It means age of Kali. What is Kali? It is an archetypical image, a pictogram, of a state of being: theirs. Behold her. She devours her own son (her child); she never nourishes it save to poison it; she murders her own husband and wears skulls around her waist, etc. Embrace her: you will be devoured as if no longer existing. She is a negative anima, a destructive anima, a shrew, a poisonous mother. When people embrace the "ophionic" condition, they do to themselves what "Kali does in the picture," of course, metaphorically. Few western people ever got this information from anyone openly/honestly. A rare few figured out what the imagery meant, such as Norman Mailer. Most normal people, even in lands where Kali is known as a myth, have no concept of the split state of being, or what her image represents. The Thuggees knew nothing of this aspect, or if they did, they did not "own Kali" as representing this about themselves. They were her hunters!

In pre-pythagorean times, there was no Kali-type image per se except in India. There was imagery for Ophioneus or Ophion. If a male was like this, Thanatos, he was literally torn to pieces by real females that did this job. This is now shrouded in myths that the west has no grasp of. If you know how to read it, the statements are clear. "Know how to read something?" Example: what does "strong force" mean? A strong person? Someone who used strong-arm tactics or force? You also have to know how to read that to grasp it. Right? What about the word "major." Does it mean big? How about "minor." Does it mean underage or trivial? Or are they both the names of a type of harmonic blend of sound? One must be able to hear this, to know this - chords in music: not just read it. Our language is as specific as this. Why share it? Because neurologists (some) seem to grasp it already, in their own new way. But they'll never know it unless they can feel it as acutely as one can feel a cup of coffee held in one's own hand. When and if they can do that, we'd consider that they know it.

And if they did know it? I don't even know if they would reason that such people, at absolute war inside their own beings, are only capable of causing/creating misery/conflict for anyone they have contact with. How can one not know something so obvious? We knew it: we called this the Kali Yuga! Their "effect" is never self-contained. Like cancer, it spreads. Like cancer, it seeks only to destroy. That is also obvious. Being able to predict, every single time, what such a person's effect will be in any given situation is not psychic or magical. It is obvious. They will set up hellish societies, e.g. they are considered pre-eminent obstructors, instinctive obstructors, which means that their obstructive actions will be as perfect and automatic as anything else instinctive. They tend to obsess, like schizophrenics do. They tend to become zealots over non-issues and go on crusades due to their own inner intolerance. What they do is not like "conscious, deliberate, thought-out, planned, subversive obstruction." What they do has long-lasting, enduring effects. If everyone used the same math-system and numbers, and there were a group of people who had an "inability to know" that number 2 exists, then every single calculation they did would be lopsided. If they balanced your check book, it would be wrong. If they try to set up a society, they leave out crucial data. Everything they do leads toward Thanatos and eventual doom. They inspire no one, they create nothing; they can only destroy. This goes for everything! There is a "wrongness" about them like this - but bigger. The normal "no #2" type could simply stop doing math. These split people can not stop, they are driven people: fleeing some unnamed inner terror, running/escaping to an imaginary/fantasy hope. Driven. When they see others are not like them, despite their dogma that screams that "everyone is like that" (akin to "no no, there is no number 2, no, no") 99% of them seek to make others like they are and they (hindsight) do it by any means necessary. This is what makes them evil! They are destroyers of joy. Their only joy is to destroy joy.

Very few of them realize what they want to do. Those who do regard this desire, and themselves, as monsters of evil (even if they are atheists by "religion") and/or see themselves as utter poisons in the midst of nature which they also see is beautiful. They are truly cursed: to know. Telling them it is chakra damage, or the new word "brain developmental damage" does not alleviate what they feel because they know they feel some pretty awful things. The rare few that know this often slide in and out of this state. They are able to know the beauty of life/nature and also know what the "absence of this sight" is. Split people that don't know both are as if denied the sight of life. If all they know is an "absence of the sight of life, an absence of inner-peace," then they'd have nothing to compare it with. Despite their beliefs (based on how they feel) in their own "sinful" or "cursed" natures, they seldom knew that anything was wrong, though some did know it and invented new words for their "condition": angst, anome. Existential psychology was born from these observations/feelings and they began to view these things as "states of being." Nonetheless, none of them were able to cure people that had these conditions. Their gross error was thinking that this was a "human condition" when it is obviously not a condition other humans or animals suffer.

The following is a list of the behaviors (short, since some are too complex to describe) of people with physical, visible brain damage --- note how these describe the Christian norm, especially Victorian culture and its members today, even if they are not Victorian (or try not to be)! What is marked in parenthesis are my notes, not from the book. (Descartes' Error: Antonio Damasio)

1. Lack emotions or feelings which direct logical or reasoning part of mind into correct decision making space where advantageous solutions to problems lie.

2. Lack awareness of feelings and emotions as direct perceptions of bodily states. Feelings and emotions are not associated with bodily organs, but exclusively with external objects, words, faces, etc. Which evoke them. Feelings and emotions are mere qualifiers in life for them, not real things. (Hence when the feelings rule them, as they rule others, they are unaware of it: their unconscious mind.)

3. Feelings are intangible, elusive, even mysterious; they are never cognitive or related to the intellectual verbal realm. (Poor vocabulary regarding feelings.)

4. Their bodies are their brain's captive audience which is the reverse of how it is in animals, and normal people! (The unruly body must be controlled, prime dictate of Xianity and other such religions.)

5. The body is never used as a yardstick or guage for knowing and measuring the world. This frame of reference is missing in them. Some external reality or idea is used as a ground reference for constructions of the world and reality. (Their knowledge is outer, never inner or carnal.)

6. Bodily states are not a basic topic, they provide only support and modulation.

7. Out of the ordinary attachment to objects, collectables, collector's behavior, including the collection sometimes of animals. (Compulsive, retentive, control-maniacs.)

8. Planning for future activity is always a disaster. (Ecology, economy, ad nauseum.)

9. Sense of responsibility to the self and others is impaired. (The devil made me do it; it's the fault of some imaginary conspiracy of people who are not impaired and make well.)

10. Inability to orchestrate one's survival at the command of one's own free will. (Hence they seek the head to guide them: fascism, religion, etc. Practical Jesus, some priest, some leader, etc.)

11. Inventive of tales with no foundation except one's own fancy in regard to the self (Fantasy, lies; their selective amnesia as to the deeds they've really done.)

12. Lack of concern about one's future. (God will fix it; reckless behavior.)

13. No forethought, especially for social planning.

14. Decisions are actively disadvantageous, they set up their own downfall. (Thanatos.)

15. A value system exists and can be utilized in abstract terms, but it is unconnected to real life situations. Decisions are minimally influenced by past experience (they never learn) and old knowledge. Caprice reigns. (Civilized "values" - wear clothes, cut down trees, act polite and stuffy.)

16. Mental functions are intact: attention, perceptions, working and long term memory, language, intelligence: their appearance is stereotypically normal (for the western world)!! (Good parrots who know nothing, and often learn poorly and parrot it all wrong except on paper tests.) Consider that these descriptions are defining physically brain damaged people, people with literal holes in their heads and severe damage! That's the danger here. It also describes many people that are considered "normal" in western society.

17. Self description or memory narration takes the form of dispassionate, uninvolved specator of one's own life! One never gets a sense that the person has suffered, even though he is the protagonist eg, in a narrative about a tragedy. (Split apart from themselves, head versus body). (False memory syndrome, too?.)

18. Defects in reasoning intelligence is only glaringly apparent in the late stages of reasoning close to the points at which their choices and selections are made, responses that affect one's personal and social survival. (Sounds logical, but is illogical as hell; looks like a house, but it is a house turned upside-down with no foundation).

19. Reduction in emotional reactivity and feeling. They seem cold-blooded or icey. Telling a story that is packed with emotional feelings that you know affected their lives, they can cooly say that, "well, it was as if ...blah blah, " but what did they feel? No response, as if the feeling-state is not there. They have no clear words to define it.

20. In reasoning, all options are equal, none are value-highlighted over others. Decision making landscape for them is flat.

21. They all have courteous "English valet politeness" and are docile. (Note, description does not say French valet or German valet. English valet politeness is Victorian. Note that Germans and French never even went thru an historical stage like this. Must mean such people are rare or at least not dominant in those societies. This describes "wasp" normal social behavior and the behaviors of those that have been indoctrinated into such a society! To us, this is not normal to be this way. In fact: it is not normal to be this way, it's the "dead thing" trying to act like a civilized human.)

22. Constant "light humor" and witticism of a mildly sardonic type, sometimes hinting that the subject "feels superior" to what he is talking about.

23. Deviations from routine cause bad tempers and frustration. (So they'd be likely to despise more random cultures who are easy-going and care-free.)

24. Sexual interests are dim, emotional involvement with partners is lacking.

25. Behavior is stereotypical, unimaginative, lacking in initiative. (Tend to want clones of themselves, all equally nothing.)

26. Using reward and punishment on them does not change their behavior, as if they are unable to learn as any animal would learn using this method. (Either a massacre or the U.N. makes them go away after you've told them to get lost 100 times. Then they wonder why.)

27. Memory is capricious: it fails where you would expect learning to have occurred, but it succeeds suddenly on a peripheral subject and often in great detail. (Repeat the same errors.)

28. Neither happy nor sad. They are as if numb. Pleasures and pains both are short-lived. They are less able to experience pleasure and react to pain.

29. They are rigid and perseverent in their approach to life. (Controllers, can't let go.)

30. They lack motor skills, sensory skills, and communication skills. (Seem stupid, motor retarded.)

31. They lack and cannot construct appropriate theories of other people's minds, or even their own minds. (They never know the effect they have on other people and how people see them)

32. They are completely unaware of any handicap. They'll deny it but tests show they are not lying! (They "believe their own lies wherein they refute "what is" therefore they are not lying as the word "lie" is used since they believe it.) They have in fact lost the cognitive function needed to know they are handicapped. They may theorize about it if it is "proven" but they are still unaware of its inadequacy (in the way you'd be aware of a stomach ache).

33. They may have a deceptive cheerful appearance; they often have an indifferent appearance which is also deceptive. None of these are voluntary or based on knowledge of the real situation they are in.

34. They have diminished facial expressions. (Stone faced, stiff upper lips, startled-looking).

They have other symptoms, some too long to detail shortly, and others (like indifference to health) that do not apply to what I'll call "cruxtoids." These above are defining what is clearly "the waspish man" as I learned about them and can see them. What is remarkable is that these are the symptoms of severely brain damaged/injured people, that all share these identical symptoms, hence Damasio called it the Gage Matrix (from the name of a patient, Gage.) Some cruxtoids are obsessed with their health, but nothing they do is logical - it is all disastrous: hysteria caused. Getting into health foods, macrobiotic diets, anorexia, bulemia, abstaining from foods imagined bad for the health, etc. What is scary is that this describes the normal western type or wasp. It does not describe most Germans or French natives. A lot of these symptons are also symptoms of schizophrenia or schizoid personalities, but this is highly deceptive. Damasio shows this wrong perception to be what he calls the "long night of behaviorism." What is actually going on is that these people are unable to process carnal information that their bodies feed into their brains. Unable. They do not connect what is real outside themselves by using their bodies as the guide. They are unable to use memory to learn from errors, yet can lock onto small details about something not relevant --- yet on tests they show they have nothing wrong with their memories. The problem here is not the memory, it is in the body being unable to feed carnal memory. Memorizing something on a piece of paper for a test is different from learning physically (motor inteligence) and automatically (without thinking) from a prior disaster. How is it known that these behaviors are caused by the brain damage, and not just part of the in-general cruxtoid-type culture? Because they can take normal humans whose brains function identically to animals, inhibit parts of their brains, and produce these behaviors. Yet the humans test as well on tests after brain damage as they do prior to brain damage. They make the same "ethical choices" on ethics tests, they have the same IQ, etc. So the conclusion that these behaviors are not part of the brain damage but are only normal cruxtoid society traits is false. These neurologists have conclusively proven this, tho they do not refer to these behaviors as cruxtoid. They don't label them, save to say they are symptoms of developmental brain damage, which they can test for now. Freud with his foundation was correct about broken natures of children who repress and bury rage/fear/guilt/shame with a kind of split that forms in their development due to this. They grow up with this craving for "worth," and "self-worth" is a concept almost alien to anyone else as these people have it. Anything said to them is sifted into a dualist structure and re-interpreted as either pro or con, an expected judgement made on them; as such they are extremely defensive people and others perceive their defensiveness as an attack. Told they are attacking, they never grasp this. It's impossible to communicate across this almost unbridgeable gulf of being. So then, how is a native to react when he is subjugated by a pack of brain damaged cruxtoids? Shut up and obey, and/or completely revolt. History shows that reasoning with them has never worked. They were rousted either by physical brute force or by the pressures put upon them by the U.N. That these people don't know there is anything wrong with them is not good; that they are trying to gain control of other normal people and this country is also, not good. The carnal human does not have the obessive perseverence that these rigid would-be controllers have, nor their "fear" of life. Nor does anyone have the obsessive urge to control, via words (spoken or mostly written down) which they use to almost try to redefine reality or "make green grass into pink grass by repeating that grass is pink." They take the nativistic ideas of all others and remold them (and rewrite them) and then become "the authorities, the sages on the stages" and speak for these others. They get it all so hopelessly wrong that to try to right it would be to either unravel every construction or trash it all and start new. They consistently see a small part and mistake it for the whole: pontificating on this then, as the "final whole picture." This can be seen in the way they consistently fail to understand evolution, even when they agree with it. They have cognitive disabilities to understanding specific things. They not only misinterpert the ideas that came from undamaged others and dualize them, but they place on them an almost sado-masochistic (dominance war-ethic, altar/throne) construction and tie it into their Ragnarock or Armegeddon delirium, their ultimate selves showing through, then, with the hope for the destruction of humanity. If they couldn't be happy in this world and make all others unhappy, then they will be the only ones happy in the next world (while those they waged war against will be damned). This is their heart, their hope, their core. They could be called evil - the only evil - but they are, in fact, insane. The disease spreads. Others get like them in reaction to them, as a defense against them. They get even worse than them and become a threat to them. And then the world goes M.A.D.

There are five neurologically distinct zones in the brain that have to do with the five senses and how these senses "blend" in a manner that might look like another sense. Once again, we were right: we, who are exactly like other animals, do not have some sixth sense that those who are broken have thought. And only a lying person would pretend he has this when he is just normal but in the midst of brain-damaged cruxtoids looking for a priest or savoir. Cruxtoids have forever seen us as "magical" but also as "carnally dominated" as if we are overly physical/material. No! We are normal creatures. It is they who become dominated by "ideas" and "ideals" that have absolutely no basis in the real world. It is they who have called the shots, condemning normal people for being "of the world, hence of the devil," or "godless materialists." It is they who have passed off their damage as "superior" and who formed the concept of "wannabe the elite" with nothing real to use in their criteria for "superiority" except the very morals they invented themselves. Eg: When they claim it is morally superior to feel shame. What is shame to any animal? It's nothing, it's incomprehensible. That would mean these cruxtoids must somehow be aware, on some level, that there is something wrong with them. These physically (from injury) brain damaged people really do not know there is something wrong with them, and they don't think there is something wrong with others either. They leave people alone. Cruxtoids never leave people alone, no matter if they call themselves "christians" or something else. They will travel miles to further some insane "ideal" and create misery for themselves, others, and their own children. All they do is disastrous, and yet they seem unstoppable. The worst misinterpretation of our own ideas they make, when one of us has written them, is to think this sick idealism/fantasy realm they live in is somehow associated with Will. Yet they'd project all sorts of insane behavior onto animals, or claim animals have no will - meanwhile animals are perfect beings. I can imagine why such people would think animals had no will: because animals are nothing like themselves. When they meet other people who are just like animals, they are equally unable to understand us. They make no bones about calling us animals, or subhumans, either.

Cruxtoid is a pun. Crux is cross and crusade. Cruk is a bend. Cruke or crukez is a crooked staff or crutch as a crippled person might use. Crook also, crooks of life. Crock also, as in "crock of shit." Oid has a science and science-fiction connotation (as in hemorrhoid) and is usually said in a humorous fashion when not said scientifically. Toid is "Brooklynese" for "turd." It is also a homonym-pun for "toyed." Toit means proud, stiff, or snappish. (hoity-toity). The syllable without the "d" would be toy, as in "a toy" or a joke. Without knowing the pun, the word "cruxtoid" tends to convey a picture to those of us who know what this is. The picture is that of a stiff, robotic, toy-soldier-like male, the ascetic, the proud, onward crusading soldier stomping in robotic formation off to some idiotic war to make other normal humans as crippled as he is. It conjures up the image of a pole-like geek, a dolt, a simple-minded but pompous asshole or a stuffy Sage on the Stage type; a non-feeling thing that simply obeys not only "jump off the roof" but needs to be told how to jump; or the Sage who wants to be the one ordering the jump. There is a section in the play "Faust" by Goethe wherein Mephistopheles (the joker supreme) removes the "anima" from faust. He then becomes the military ascetic: the cruxtoid supreme. Faust experiences this lack-of-feeling and lack of anima as worse than death. It is humorous in the extreme to see illiterates trying to read this and thinking that "to be Faustian" means to be what Faust considered worse than dead. This they do because they are: cruxtoids. (woof, woof. Is it a cat yet? Meoof, meooff. Now is it a cat? Let the thing strive more. It will never be a cat. Because it is a dog! A cruxtoid will never "get it." Not possible. Clinically not possible.)

One doesn't even have to call it satanism (by this I mean exclusively that defined by us as Dark Tradition. One could just as easily call it godless materialism and it would come out the same. What else is there aside from the material outer and physical inner world? Nothing. For those whose lives are a perpetual misery of angst and nihil, the world is an evil place. These hope for saviors and invent kingdoms in never-never land.

Note: aside from "Descartes' Error" by Antonio Damasio, wherein he used the word anosognosic to define "disease of knowledge," there are test subjects known as alexithymics who were used in a series of experiments led by Warren Ten Houten, Klaus Hoppe and colleagues at the University of California in late 1980's. They are said to have a "rare disorder" (which we can see is not rare at all in certain countries and areas!) in which they cannot express feelings in words and have difficulty verbalizing fantasy. They think in very plodding fashion. They have trouble with symbolic representations of ideas and live in a world the opposite of creative normal types. They can't grasp emotional themes in events, movies, photos, etc. One can find reference to this for laymen in the Time-Life book "Wecrets of the Inner Mind."

There is also hard-line Freud and the foundation for his work which has turned out to be correct, where he speaks about western society running on sublimation due to repressed animal nature and emotions turned negative and self-destructive. We have terms for this from very old times: akathartic means unreleased, pent-up, unable to let go; and ophionic which means an escape into fantasy land complete with insane ideas used to base life on (such as religious ideas, or false ideas of self-hood). It is usually the people that Freud is defining that hate and reject him most. Freud also didn't mince words and misuse the word "erotic" meaning eros (felt in the heart area of the body). When he meant sex he said sex. These people are sexually twisted, broken in a deep way. They are neither gay nor straight - sex act not being a criteria used to define "sex." They are unable to fully release (akatharsis).