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By Dr. Derrr of Wassa Matta U.
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to the
question "Where do dogs and cats come from?" 1. Adam
said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do
not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember
how much you love me." 2. And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion
for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love
for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how
selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you
as you are and will love you in spite of yourself." 3. And God created
a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was
pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail.
4. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and
I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem! Because
I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name
will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG." 5. And
Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted.
And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. 6. After
a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam
has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes
he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps
too well." 7. And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create a companion
for him who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion
will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy
of adoration." And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. 8. And Cat
would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that
he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility. And God was pleased.
And Adam was greatly improved. And Dog was happy. And Cat didn't give a shit one
way or the other. 9. One may choose to take a very serious look at why
the lovely cat is associated with the Devil.