Atlas Farted

by Ann Randy and the Minister of the Sinister

"Did you really think we wanted those rules of etiquette observed?" said Dr. Flatus. "We WANT the wind to break. You'd better get it straight that it's not a bunch of anal-retentives you're up against. We eat more beans by noon than most people eat in a week, and it's doing a number on our stomach. The only power anyone has is the power to offend with an unholy stench. Well, when there isn't enough stench, one MAKES a stinky! One 'let's her rip' so many times that it is impossible not to breath in the second-hand fumes of one's ass! Who wants a nation of etiquette-abiding citizens? What's that in there for anyone? But just pass the kind of gas that can neither be traced to their source, nor go unobserved, and you create a nation of people on the verge of passing out. Now that's the system, Mr. Rearend, that's the game, and once you understand it, you'll be that much easier to deal with. Now have another helping of pintos, my friend."

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